How to Choose the Best Date for Your Wedding

In my series, Beginning Planning Tips, to date, we have covered your budget and the guest list.  Today, I will help you determine the perfect date for your wedding.

Many factors are involved when trying to choose a date; the month, the actual day of the week and whether your guests can or cannot attend.

As you are determining the date that will work best for you, think about the following points:

Holidays.  Holiday weekends, such as Christmas and Thanksgiving, could work fantastic because people usually have extra vacation days which would make it easier for families to come together.  However, keep in mind, holidays could also mean higher costs at your chosen site because of being a busy time of year.

Speaking of vacation days, think about your and your fiancé’s schedule.  Can you both take off a week or longer at the time you would like to have your wedding?  Special projects you may be involved in may not allow you to take a full week or two off.  If that’s the case, consider delaying your honeymoon for a later date.  Plan ahead if you are considering going during peak months.  Hotels and flights get booked up well in advance for the more popular months and locations.

Location.  When choosing a date, you must consider where you would like to have your wedding and reception.  If you have your heart set on the museum you have admired and dreamed about for your reception, you need to call and verify whether the date you have in mind is available.  Places like that get booked well in advance – sometimes two years out.  Therefore, you need to have other venues in mind as an alternative.

Day of the week.  We all know Saturdays are the most popular and the most customary day of the week for weddings.  However, there are only 52 Saturdays in a year.  Therefore, consider a Friday evening or a Sunday as an alternative.  Especially, if you want that museum.  You may still be able to have your location you’ve always wanted, but just have to have it on another day of the week.  Another benefit of having your wedding on a day other than Saturday, is most sites and vendors will give discounts for the “non-popular” days in order to get the business they may not have had otherwise.

In relation to choosing a location, it is best to have your wedding and reception held in the same place.  However, this is not always feasible.  If your wedding and reception do need to be held at two different locations, you must ensure your date is available at both places before making any deposits, which are usually non-refundable.

Weather.  This is always a concern for choosing a date if your dream is to have a beach wedding or outdoors on the lawn of a beautiful estate.  You must have a “Plan B” in place.  Weather is the one thing that is uncontrollable and, therefore, having an alternative plan will allow you to relax and be stress-free.

Family.  When you are thinking of a date, consider other milestone events happening within your family, such as other members of the family getting married, a golden anniversary or significant birthday.  If you are really set on your date and it happens to be on or near the same date as one of these milestone events, ask those family members if they would mind having your wedding on or around their event.  You could even acknowledge them at your wedding with a special toast or dance.

Considering the above points, you will find the perfect date.  Once that’s set, now the fun begins with planning out all the details.

For next week, look for ways in finding the perfect site for you.

photo credit:  marthastewartweddings.com

Don't Bust Your Budget with Your Guest List

As promised last week, I am continuing with my Beginning Planning Tips by talking about your guest list and how you can avoid busting your budget.

Using the budget tips I gave you last week, you should have a specific figure in mind for your wedding budget.  Based on that figure, you should now begin creating your guest list.  Have a good chat with your fiancé and begin envisioning what size of wedding you would like.  Do you want it small and intimate or a large party where you invite everyone under the sun? 

Okay.  Come on back down to earth now and begin writing down a realistic list of those you positively want to invite and those whom you may include if you decide to do a larger fête.  If you are having trouble deciding who the “positively” want to invites are, think of it this way.  Are those people close enough (and I don’t mean location-wise) to you that you would invite them over for dinner?  If not, those would not be the “positively” to invite people.  It’s also a good idea to give each set of parents a specific number of how many they can invite; however, you do not have to promise to invite everyone on their list.

The quick nuts and bolts?  The more guests you have, the more it will cost.

To guide you further, consider the following tips when creating your guest list:

1.    Dividing the number.  You could do this one of two ways.  The number of guests could be divided in half, with one-half for your family and one-half for your fiancé’s family.  However, if one of the families lives out of town, they may politely yield part of their number.  Another option is to divide the list into thirds.  You and your fiancé would have one-third while each set of parents get one-third each.

2.    The average number of invited guests that attend a wedding is about 80 percent, but don’t guarantee your guest count on that alone. 

3.    Etiquettely speaking, this is how you would handle inviting singles, couples living together, engaged, etc.  For singles, just invite that person.  There is no need to add “and guest,” especially if you are limiting your guest list.  For singles where you know they are currently in a serious relationship, it would be considerate to invite both.  Never a question - one member of a married or engaged couple is never invited without the other.

4.    To eliminate the question of whether you are inviting children or not, the names that are written on the inside envelope are the ones actually invited.  If a guest still asks you if they can bring their children, you can tell them that your reception space can only accommodate so many and you have reached that capacity, or you could simply say your budget doesn’t allow any more people than you already invited.  Be sure you stick with this.  You don’t want your friends to see other families with children when you turned them down.  If you are not having any children, the only children that should be at the reception would be those who are actually in the wedding party. 

5.    Having a destination wedding is another way to avoid the guest list dilemma.  For a destination wedding, you would only invite your family and the closest of your friends for a great weekend of fun.

As you gather your guest list, you may be shocked that your list is bigger than what your budget can afford.  Remember, setting priorities and determining what’s most important will help you tremendously in determining how many people you really can accommodate. Trimming the guest list or rethinking your reception décor are pretty much your only options.  Be creative.  You can and will find that happy place and still have the most fantastic wedding.

Next week, we’ll look at ways for deciding on a date for your big day.

photo credit:  theknot

Budget Help

For those of you who may have been recently engaged over the holidays, congratulations! 

Now that we are a few weeks into the new year, the early excitement has come down a bit and you are being hit with the reality that you are really getting married.  You are probably asking yourself, “Now, what do I do?”  “Where do I begin?”  Most likely, this is your one and only wedding that you will ever have and you want it to be perfect.  Therefore, I thought it would be great to give you some Beginning Planning Tips over the next several weeks.  The first one and probably the hardest to maintain is:  the budget.

Let’s look at what a budget is not.

A budget is not…

•    … throwing a dart at a target.

•    … the total amount in the parent’s bank account or your bank account.

•    … what one or more girlfriends spent on their wedding.

•    … necessarily what you see on TV (those are inspirations)

A budget is…

▪    A study of the range of what wedding products and services cost in your area, balanced against your individual style and personalities, inspirations and fantasies.

▪    Influenced by the number of guests you choose to invite.

A budget line item is not…

▪    “I only have $800 left for videography. Will you take that?”

▪    “Oh, my third cousin, Sam, is going to take the photos.”

A budget is:

▪    $1 Million

▪    $50,000

▪    $25,000

▪    $7,500

In other words, a budget is a specific amount of money set aside for all your wedding expenses.

Plan for about half your budget going towards your reception for food and beverage.  Other significant items to consider are:

•    Fees – officiant, ceremony site, wedding planner

•    Wedding attire

•    Photography/Videography

•    Flowers

•    Décor

•    Gratuities

•    Entertainment – ceremony and reception

•    Transportation

•    Gifts

•    Stationery – invitations, programs, menu cards, etc.

•    Accessories – aisle runner, cake knife/server, favors, etc.

A bride with $12,000 to spend, should be able to experience as much happiness on her wedding day as one with $50,000. But that presumes she has enough information, common sense, and critical thinking to make consistently good decisions, and then does so.

Sit down with your honey at your favorite coffee shop, set your priorities with what’s most important to you, get creative and use self-control when spending those budget dollars. 

You can and will have a fantastic wedding.

Next week, we’ll tackle the guest list.  That alone, could put a major dent in your budget.  

::twenty twelve::

Just wanted to wish everyone a very Happy and Prosperous New Year!  May this year be the best year yet!

Did you get engaged over the holidays?  If you did, I would love to hear your story.  Drop me an e-mail at:  pwilson@smoothweddings.com.

Happy 2012!