How to Find the Right Wedding Professionals for Your Unforgettable Wedding

Here are eight “must ask” questions to ask ALL your potential wedding professionals prior to booking:

How many weddings do you do per year?  How much experience do you have?

This is an extremely important question.  Ideally, your wedding professional should have ample experience specifically with weddings.  Not only will they be more skilled in their craft, this also makes them a valuable source of information and ensures that your wedding day goes smoothly.

Exactly how do you work your fees?
Price is often relative, especially when you factor in experience, reputation and expert skill.  Do not base your decision solely on the price.  Generally, the most talented professionals have a higher price tag because their value far outweighs their price and are worth it.

Is a deposit required to hold the date?

What specifically is included in the cost?
Because packages often vary, it’s likely that you won’t be able to compare one vendor exactly to the next without doing a little figuring.  The lowest cost isn’t necessarily the best deal; some higher quotes include services that you have to pay extra for in other packages.  Make sure you take this into account.

What happens if I cancel?  What happens if you cancel?
Find out if your deposit is refundable under any conditions.  Does the wedding professional have a back up plan if something happens to them?

Do you use a contract?
If the answer is “No,” run!  A contract is designed to protect both you and the wedding professional.  Don’t settle for a verbal agreement that won’t hold up in court.

Are there any additional fees?
Taxes, service charges and travel fees can add up quickly.  Make sure you understand exactly what is included and if there are any other fees you’ll have to pay.  This should be clearly defined in your contract.  You don’t want to hear “Oh, by the way, did you know you have to pay for…”

Do you carry liability insurance?
The answer you’re looking for here is “Yes.”  This protects you in case an unfortunate accident should occur on your wedding day.  It’s also a sign that this is a reputable business, since most “fly by night” operations don’t invest in insurance.

One final bit of advice: read your contract.  Make sure you understand everything that's written and ask questions if you don't.  There IS no stupid question...except the one you don't ask.  Make sure you know the price as well as cancellation and refund policies.

Go with your gut.  If something feels "off" about the wedding vendor...you're probably right.  Make sure you feel comfortable with him/her, you like him/her, and that his/her personality will be a good blend with your guests and reflect the tone of your wedding.

Appointments with Wedding Professionals - Why Do They Make It So Inconvenient?

Do you think there is a conspiracy theory between wedding professionals in making appointments with you as inconvenient as possible?

Do you feel like it’s so labor intensive to get everything finished?  Are you finding that you and your fiancé are so frazzled and at each other’s throats because it doesn’t seem like the appointments can be made when the both of you can attend together so you want to blame the wedding professionals for making these appointments so problematic?  (Okay.  That was a long, run-on sentence)  Anyway, are you asking why the appointments can’t always be made on the weekend?

Well, let me try to explain why this may be the case.  Think about what day of the week your wedding occurs.   Most likely, it will be on a Saturday or Sunday, right?  When will your wedding professionals be working for you?  That’s right.  On a Saturday or Sunday.  This means your wedding professionals are most likely currently working at another wedding or event that is also being held on a Saturday or Sunday, and that is their first priority.  Therefore, that makes them unavailable for appointments on the weekends most of the time.  They are not purposely making it difficult for you.  In fact, several wedding professionals are willing to schedule evening appointments if the both of you can’t come during the weekday.  Keep in mind, they just want to give the same attention to their current clients as they will with you when it is your day.

We try our hardest to make appointments at the best times possible to be convenient for all parties involved.   However, that’s not always the case for the reasons I mentioned above. 

Stop for a minute and look at that drop dead, gorgeous ring on your finger, look at the love of your life and think about your commitment to one another.  Planning for that commitment is getting you one step further to your goal – getting married to the man of your dreams.  Yes, there will be bumps along the planning process road, but how you handle them will be what counts.

So stop frazzling about things that are not in your control.  It will get done.  You will get married. 

Dear Brides:  Does this sound like you?  Are you and your fiancé stressing out about the wedding planning?  Please share and comment.

Grooms Helping to Plan Their Wedding

Have you noticed grooms are getting more and more involved in helping to plan their wedding?  No longer is it just the bride and her family.  He wants to get in on the action, too.   Take Brad Pitt, for instance.  He designed Angelina Jolie's engagement ring and is supposedly restoring an estate in southern France for the wedding as well as having a say on the flowers and ceremony.

As a wedding planner, I have seen many grooms be involved with helping their bride plan “their” wedding.  It’s not just the bride’s wedding anymore.

I actually thought this same thing when planning my own wedding 18 years ago.  My fiancé, now husband, was very involved in the planning of our wedding and I loved it.  I wanted him to be a part of it.  I always thought the wedding is just as much for the groom as it is for the bride.  So much so that I wanted him to also walk down the aisle – and, he did. 

There are still many grooms who say, “Whatever you want, dear.”  But, there are many now that say, “I want to help.”

Dear Brides:  What about you?  Is your groom helping you plan the wedding?  How involved is he?  Please comment and share.

photo credit:  Martha Stewart Weddings

Planning - Ten Biggest Pre-Wedding Mistakes

Even the smartest, most organized couple can make mistakes during wedding planning. Below are ten things you should keep an eye on before walking down that aisle.

1. Budget, what budget?
If you have started planning your wedding, you know it can cost a lot of money. Many excited brides start booking wedding professionals and making purchases without having a real budget, and then they're shocked to discover they've spent all of their money (or their parents' money) and still don't have half the things they need. If you bounce checks, don't have the money to pay your deposits, or make your final payments past your wedding professionals’ deadlines, your wedding will not happen as you have planned. The flowers won't be delivered, your cake will not be decorated, and the band will not play all night -- unless you don't pay up. Planning a wedding is serious business. Make a budget and keep track of your expenses.

2. Wedding gown/bridesmaid dresses ordered too late.
If you are not going to buy your gown “off the rack,” then you need to place your gown order six to eight months prior to your wedding. Most gowns are made to order.  If you wait too long before your wedding date to make your selection, you may risk the gown not arriving on time. Bridesmaid dresses should also be decided upon during the same time period, but only after your gown has been selected. You want to make sure your ladies have enough time to get measured and find accessories. 

3. Not hiring wedding professionals.
Seriously.  Would you have a friend fix a plumbing problem?  Of course not.  You would want a professional plumber to come in and do the job right.  Same goes for your wedding.  You want professionals who do this for a living – photographers, videographers, florists, wedding coordinators, etc.  They have the experience and skills to help you have the wedding of your dreams.  Don’t risk your friendships by depending upon them to do a professional’s job.  There are wedding professionals that fit every style and budget.  Rely on them to keep you stress-free.

4. Marriage license application woes.
Since every state has their own set of policies for marriage licenses, brides are bound to make mistakes. Be sure to investigate time restrictions well in advance of your wedding date. Get your license 31 days before in some states -- and you won't be able to legally marry on your wedding day because it may be valid for only 30 days. Go for your license the day before your wedding and you may not get it in time, because some states have a 48-hour waiting period. Another common mess-up if you're remarrying: not having official divorce papers in time to get the certificate.  Be sure to check your state’s marriage laws.

5. Out-of-town guests have a room?
Brides often leave blocking out hotel rooms for out-of-town guests until the last minute. If you're marrying in a city (particularly one where conventions take place) or in a resort town and you don't investigate hotel availability in advance, you can literally end up with not a single room for any of your guests to stay in. Your wedding might go on -- but no one will be able attend. Reserve a room block as early as possible, up to a year in advance, in some cases.

6. Inviting too many guests.
Make sure your guest list and your reception site match numbers-wise. You can't invite 400 people assuming only 250 will RSVP with a yes (because your “must-have” reception site can only hold 250).  What if 300 happen to say yes, you may have to turn 50 away at the door.  Some sites may not be able to add several more tables, as fire laws limit the maximum number of people in any room at one time. To avoid this, assume 80% will respond "yes" and limit your guest list accordingly.

7. Beauty treatments scheduled too late.
Many brides think that scheduling chemical peels the week before their weddings will leave their skin looking angelic on their big days. Others think having their teeth bleached within days of their weddings will leave those pearly whites sparkling. Thinking of tanning the day before your wedding? Remember that scene in “The Wedding Planner?”  You may end up with blisters instead of sun-kissed skin. Last-minute beauty treatments can lead to breakouts, mistakes, or -- even worse -- serious infections. Start a long-term beauty regimen months before the big day and save the heavy-duty beauty treatments (i.e. chemical peels, micro-dermabrasion, extracting facials, deep-tanning sessions, teeth whitening, and so on) for at least two weeks before the big day, or you could risk ruining all the hard work you've done to make your wedding -- and photos - perfect. (Never mind putting your health and happiness at risk for the most important day of your life.)

8. Invitations – didn’t put enough postage on the envelopes?
You'd be surprised how many brides just stick a 45-cent stamp on their invites and drop them in the mailbox.  All but a few wedding invitations require additional postage. The postal service will not take pity on you -- your invites will be returned (and rubber-stamped with that ugly "insufficient postage" message) -- and it will take at least two weeks (never mind the additional $$) to get them back out the door.  Always take a complete invitation to the post office to be weighed before purchasing all your stamps.

9. Ignoring religious restrictions.
Think your rabbi didn't mean it when he said you needed to cover your arms in the temple? Guess again. If you plan on marrying in a church, synagogue, etc., you need to abide by their rules. Wearing inappropriate attire or not completing pre-wedding requirements could be grounds for your Officiant to stop your wedding before it begins. As soon as you get engaged, be sure to contact your house of worship to find out about any potential issues. Some houses of worship won't let you marry on certain holy days; make sure to check your wedding date with your Officiant before putting down any deposits for your reception site or wedding professionals.

10. Rain or shine?  Don’t ignore weather warnings.
Brides marrying outdoors often test fate and just wish for the best when it comes to bad weather. Always have a backup plan, or else you may not have a place to marry at all -- or your guests (and you) may be in misery at the hands of Mother Nature. Temperatures normally around the balmy 70-degree mark may unexpectedly turn into a boiling 100-degree debacle – have fans available for guests and it wouldn’t hurt to have bottles of water, too.  A hurricane, flashflood, or gale force winds may visit on your wedding day; make sure you have an interior alternative or a tent as a back-up location.

Dear brides:  What is frustrating you in planning your wedding?  Have you made any mistakes in your wedding planning?  Please comment and share.

Finding the Perfect Site

For this last Beginning Planning Tips series, I am going to focus on finding the perfect site for your wedding and/or reception.  Ask yourself what site is right for you and your fiancé.  What are you exactly looking for in a site?  What should you ask before making an obligation to a particular site?

When visiting potential sites, ask yourself, “Could I see myself getting married here?  Will my guests be comfortable, create an intimate atmosphere, or be dazzling?”    What meaning would you be conveying to your guests with your choice?  Today, you have so many numerous and assorted choices from beautiful estates to destination weddings.  However, no matter where you decide to have your wedding, there are really only two types of locations:  in-house (all inclusive) and off-site.

In-house (all inclusive) means just that.  The site provides pretty much everything from food and beverage to linens, china, tables and chairs and service personnel.  These sites would be your hotels, country clubs, etc. and are perfect for you if you want the convenience of having everything under one roof, so to speak, in order to coordinate things in one fell swoop.

Off-site venues usually provide very little, if any, services.  You basically just rent the space and you are left to fill “in the blanks,” meaning you would have to hire vendors separately, such as the caterer, rental supplies, décor, etc.  This type of site would be perfect for you if you want the liberty in choosing your own vendors, decorating pretty much the way you want, etc.

However, your ceremony site might determine your reception site.  This would hold true particularly if you marry in a house of worship.  If this is true, your choice of reception site will be limited because it would be most ideal to have it located close to your ceremony site to allow your guests ease in traveling.  The ideal situation would be to have your ceremony and reception held in the same location.  Besides making it very convenient for your guests (not having to travel to another location), it could also save you time and money with your décor, flowers, etc. that could be used for both events.

Here are some questions you should ask when visiting potential sites:

o        Do you have my wedding date available?  This may be an obvious question, but remember there are other brides competing for the same time on a Saturday

o        What are the restrictions, policies, etc.?  Many sites have written rules about décor, parking, etc.  Make sure you read everything before signing anything.  You don’t want any surprises.

o        How many guests can the space accommodate?  Usually, you’ll receive two numbers:  one for a buffet (or standing) reception and one for a sit-down (seated) dinner.  Don’t forget to ask about including a dance floor.  This and other tables (buffet, etc.) takes up space.

o        How many hours does the rental fee include?  Ask about overtime charges.  Is set-up and clean-up included in the stated hours?

o        What else is happening at the site the day of my wedding?  Some sites will book more than one event on the same day.  The best, of course, is to have the site exclusively.  But, if that is not possible, be sure there is ample time between the other event and yours to set-up, etc. and so as not to confuse your guests by possibly ending up at the wrong event.

o        Are there any hidden costs?  You want to be sure you are aware of any additional costs, such as valet parking, cake cutting fee, or a corkage fee if they allow you to bring in your own wine.  Depending upon your guest count, or minimum you have to meet, you may be able to negotiate some of these charges.  Better to find this out now rather than be surprised at the end.

While looking at various sites for your wedding and/or reception, remember to have fun.  Think of it as shopping.  Who doesn’t have fun shopping?  Well, maybe not your fiancé but he’ll probably enjoy this type of shopping. 

Have fun!

I hope you have enjoyed this little series of Beginning Planning Tips.  Feel free to comment and share with your engaged friends on Facebook and Twitter.

What should I talk about next week?  What are your frustrations, questions or thoughts as you are planning your wedding?

photo credit:  Love to Know.com