Great Tips for Your Rehearsal Dinner

My clients often ask me, "Who do I have to invite to the rehearsal dinner?" Since this question, as well as others, come up pretty regularly, I thought I would write my tips on the blog on how to have a great rehearsal dinner and who should get invited.

Traditionally, the Groom’s family is responsible for planning and paying for the rehearsal dinner. Sometimes, they have no idea what should happen at the rehearsal dinner. The following ideas should keep your rehearsal dinner lively, interesting and running smoothly.

The rehearsal dinner should be fun and upbeat. It can be casual and festive. Keep the décor understated, as you do not want to upstage the wedding day.

You want to create an ambiance that is favorable to lots of toasts and well wishing. The groom’s father may want to start things off with a toast to the bride and her family. Then the Best Man can toast the bride and groom. Next, the groom may want to offer a toast to his bride and her family. These toasts do not necessarily have to be serious. They can include a funny story or anecdote. Most important, try to make it an early night so everyone will get enough rest for the wedding day. You may want to use this time to thank your parents and future parents-in-law and propose a toast to say "thank you" for all their love, support and help for a wonderful wedding!

You can also use the rehearsal dinner as a place to give your attendants, parents, etc. their thank-you gifts, if you did not have a separate groom’s dinner or bridesmaid’s luncheon.

As you plan the menu, avoid serving any of the main dishes that will be served at the wedding. The rehearsal dinner is also a nice time to have a Groom’s Cake. You could honor your man by surprising him with his favorite cake designed to match his personality, hobby or favorite sport. You could also choose to show a video montage with baby pictures, pictures of each of you at different ages, and ya'll enjoying the beach, zoo, park, or whatever you enjoy doing together.

Keep the dinner low-key – this will help conserve energy for the next day. You also don’t want to upstage the bride by having something more extravagant than what is planned for the wedding reception.

You may want to consider assigning seats. This way you can balance the energy of the room, encourage guests to meet new family and friends and avoid any embarrassing situations that could arise when family members who don’t get along well are seated near each other.

As referred to above, family members from both sides may not have met before the rehearsal dinner so it’s a good idea to introduce everyone at the dinner, if they were not at the rehearsal. You can do this formally by "going around the table" or informally by "mixing and mingling." A nice idea would be for the bride and groom to make the introductions and say something personal about each person.

Even though it is not a requirement, it may be a good idea and a nice gesture to send out invitations to the rehearsal dinner. The invitation should include where and when the rehearsal will take place as well as where and when the rehearsal dinner will take place. Type of dress and directions to the dinner should also be included. If you do decide to send invitations, they should be less formal than your wedding invitations.

Finally, who should be invited? The “must haves” to invite are those individuals who are part of the wedding ceremony. Spouses and/or fiancées of all adult attendants should be invited. The ring bearer and flower girl should be invited along with their parents. Parents and grandparents of the bride and groom should be invited as well as the Officiant and his spouse. If your budget and site space allows, it is a nice gesture to invite special friends who have traveled to the wedding from out of town. You may want to ask local guests to provide transportation for the out-of-towners.

Happy rehearsing and enjoying a great dinner afterwards.