How to Write Thank You Notes

Does the daunting, time-consuming task of writing thank you notes get you down? Not sure how or what to say to each gift giver? Well, I have written up some easy to follow ways of how to write your thank you notes.

You basically need to write three things:

1. Mention the gift (or course!)
2. It’s nice to say how you are going to use the gift
3. Always mention how well you liked it
4. (Okay, I know I said three, but it doesn’t hurt to add more) You could also mention how you enjoyed seeing them at the wedding and how you appreciated them coming all the way from across the United States to attend.

Your thank you notes should always be written by hand. Even in today’s technological world, receiving a hand-written note is always appreciated and more personal.

If you receive gifts prior to the wedding, it is best to write those thank you notes as soon as you receive the gift. If you wait until a few weeks after the wedding, they may wonder if you received the gift or not.

Since people will expect you to be on your honeymoon for a week or two, they will not expect an immediate thank you note from you. However, as soon as you return, you should begin writing the notes in order to get them out within six weeks after your wedding. Write several every night until you are finished. It really does not take that long and you will be glad to get them out of the way as soon as possible. Pick certain evenings that you and your husband can sit down together to write the thank you notes. Make it a fun date night. He can write some, too, to people he knows best. However, whether you or your husband actually write the note, both of you should sign it.

Don’t forget to send thank you notes to all those people who helped you get through your day, such as, the florist, caterer, photographer, hair stylist, wedding coordinator, parents, etc. Without these people, your day would never have happened.

To help you get started, here are some writing examples:


To parents:

Dear Mom and Dad,

John and I just arrived in Hawaii and we spent the last several hours talking about our wedding. We had the best time. Everything was so beautiful and what we had dreamed it would be. Thank you for everything you have taught me over the years. I hope I can make our home as enjoyable as you both have made your home. When we return, we will look forward to seeing you and showing you our pictures.

With much love,

Jane



To your maid or matron of honor:

Dear Kimberly,

I cannot begin to express my feelings to you for being a part of my wedding. You helped me so much with my wedding plans and keeping me calm during the process. You are a true friend. I love the beautiful crystal candlesticks you sent. John and I will enjoy many romantic evenings using them. Thanks again for your valued friendship and I look forward to continuing our “ladies out” nights.

Love,

Jane


To a wedding guest:

Dear Peggy and Joe:

It was truly a pleasure to see you at our wedding and being a part of our celebration. Thank you so much for the beautiful tablecloth and napkins. They are perfect and we will be reminded of you when we use them. We will enjoy them for years to come.

Love,

John and Jane


For those who could not make the wedding but sent a gift, it would be nice to enclose a wedding photo of you and your husband along with the thank you note.

Happy writing!

Seating Assignments or is it Table Assignments or Both?

Does the idea of arranging the seating of your guests at your reception make you cringe? It doesn’t have to be that way.

First things, first. If you are confused about the difference between seating assignments and table assignments, here’s the difference. If you want to actually assign where every guest is going to sit at each table, this is called “seating assignments.” You would have a place card at each place setting on the guest tables to let each guest know where to sit at the table. You would also need escort cards or some other way of letting guests know which table they are to be seated. If you are just going to assign guests to a particular table but not indicate which seat to take at their table, then this is called “table assignments.” For this choice, you would just need escort cards or some other way to let guests know which table they are to be seated. Side note: IMHO, it is more of a headache to do seating assignments as you have to figure out if John can sit next to Jane without generating gossip or if Uncle Bob can stand sitting next to your best friend’s cousin’s mother.

At any rate, if you are planning an elegant sit-down meal for the reception, you should have table assignments for ease and to generate good conversation among your guests who have similar interests.

Assigning seats and/or tables, however, can be an organizing nightmare and cause a lot of stress. The reason being, the table assignments usually cannot be made until one or two weeks (sometimes days) before the wedding. Why? Because your RSVP date on your wedding invitation is usually two weeks before the wedding day. Also, guests who respond late or say they’re coming, then call a few days before the wedding to say they can’t come after all (after you have spent hours arranging the table assignments.) This could mean rearranging some of the tables at the last minute. Aghhh!

How do you avoid this? Simple. Don’t have assigned seats or tables. Have buffet style or food stations instead and let guests sit where they choose. However, if you really have your heart set on a formal sit-down meal using seating and/or table assignments (my personal preference), then you’ll need to allow enough time the last week before the wedding to make the seating and/or table assignments, including possibly having to make last minute changes. The key here is to be flexible.

To make this as easy as possible, I have developed seating tips for you to follow to make your seating assignments go as smoothly as possible. The most preferred seating is to have eight to ten guests at each table. This, however, depends upon your table size and space available.

Etiquettely Speaking

If you decide to have a head table, the wedding party would sit as follows: the bride sits to the right of the groom; the Best Man sits to the right of the bride; the Maid or Matron of Honor sits to the left of the groom. As much as possible, the other positions alternate between men and women. You may also wish for each attendant’s spouse to sit with him or her. Today, however, most couples have done away with a head table and just have a Sweetheart Table. This way, their wedding party can sit with their spouses or significant others.

At the bride’s parents’ (or host) table, the guests should include both sets of parents (if not divorced), grandparents, the officiant and his/her spouse. For the most formal of weddings, if you decide to do place cards to actually pre-assign each seat at the tables, then the parents’ table should be arranged in the following manner:

Groom’s father is on bride’s mother’s right
Groom’s mother is on bride’s father’s right
Officiant sits on bride’s mother’s left

The bride’s mother determines other places at the table. Never seat stepparents at the same table. For example, the bride’s parents are divorced and remarried. Since the bride’s mother is considered the hostess, her table will be the “official” parents table. Therefore, the bride’s father and his wife would sit at another table. The officiant and spouse should sit at the “official” parents’ table.

The other tables and seating assignments can be arranged however you would like using the following suggestions for grouping guests together:

The Beginning

• Divide your list into groups. Separate family, close friends, co-workers, etc. Design a floor plan of the reception site including total number of tables and how many guests will sit at each table.
• If you are going to have a dance floor, the best place is directly in front of the band in the center of the room or in the center of the room flush against the stage area. Tables can then be placed on both sides and/or in front of the dance floor – never behind the band.

Establish Good Conversation

• When assigning tables, if there is a group you have put together that is larger than one table can seat but too small for two tables, consider dividing the group in half and seat at tables that are next to each other. You can fill in the extra spaces with people that don’t really fit into any particular group.
• If you have a lot of unmatched guests, place guests together whom you think would be compatible. Think of ages, interests and/or marital status when you are assigning tables to this particular group. For example, a widowed friend would probably not appreciate sitting next to four newlyweds.
• If after assigning all the tables and there are empty seats, divide the empty spaces among several different tables. It looks better to have two tables of eight rather than a table of ten and a table of six.

Be Aware

• Try not to place feuding families or friends at the same table or near each other (unless you need some extra free entertainment.)
• Be sensitive and seat elderly and/or disabled guests away from the music or speakers, especially if it will be hard for them to get up and move around during the reception.

Happy seating!

Contest for Valentine's Day Proposal Stories

Being that Valentine's Day is one of the more popular days to get engaged, I'm wondering if anyone out there did get engaged yesterday. I would love to hear your proposal story.

As such, I'm running a contest for the most unique proposal. If your story is chosen, I will offer a discount on my All Inclusive Planning services. That's a $250 value!

Deadline to submit your story is Monday, February 22, 2010.

Hope ya'll have a story to tell.

Vera Wang's Spring 2010 Bridesmaids Dresses

Okay. You know Vera Wang is one of my favorite designers. So, I just had to post about her Spring 2010 Bridesmaids dress collection on her site at: www.verawangonweddings.com. The ones I have pictured here are just a few of her funky designs.

Today’s bridesmaids dresses are designed to be worn again. No more “27 Dresses” that you will never wear again. No more always having to match each other.

I wish these were around when I got married. I would totally choose a dress my bridesmaids could wear again. Wouldn’t you?

Have You Considered Your Guests?

If you indicate to your guests that you are on an extremely tight budget, but you and your groom leave in a horse and carriage or a Hummer limo, guests are going to be a little “tee’d off” that you had a cash bar - making them pay for their drinks.

You have invited your family and dearest and closest friends. Wouldn’t you want them to remember your wedding with good thoughts rather than complaining thoughts? Think of it this way. You are hosting a party in your home. Would you have guests pay for their drinks? Most likely not, especially if you want to keep these friends. Well, your reception is like one huge party of invited guests. They should never, ever have to pay to attend your reception. If you need to save money, cut your guest list, have smaller centerpieces, etc. If you’re thinking, “I can’t cut anyone from the guest list.” Then ask yourself, “Would I invite this person/couple over for dinner?” If not, they are probably just an acquaintance, so no need to invite them. Why spend money for someone you probably will not be in another social situation with again?

Guests may not remember too much of your ceremony, but they usually do remember the reception, especially the food and whether they had to pay for their drinks or not. I remember helping one of my brides with her wedding and the one priority for her guests was that her reception had excellent food. She knew that’s what guests were going to remember, and it is so true. When planning my daughter’s wedding eight years ago, we found a perfect venue that apparently had excellent food because we still get comments from family and friends that said it was the best “wedding” food they have ever tasted. Just something for you to think about.

Another thing guests don’t like are favors that they can’t use and they just throw away. The best favors are either edible, i.e. chocolates or something you know they can use, such as candles.

Most guests also get bored with slideshows. They already know you, so why have them endure seeing all your baby photos, childhood experiences, and you and groom posed at various locations? Save this to show at the rehearsal dinner or have a portable DVD player by the guest book that guests can view at their leisure without having to be “forced” to sit quietly and watch a video in the middle of your reception. Plus, nine times out of ten, something goes wrong with the video or PowerPoint presentation. That takes away from the flow of the reception if the tech guys have to play around with the equipment to get it running again.

To sum up, as host and hostess of your wedding, it is your responsibility to ensure your guests have a great time. Make it unique, experience good times and have fun. In other words, nothing else should take precedence over the comfort of your guests. You may want to have the most gorgeous silk linens and Chivari chairs, but if you didn’t spend the extra money to provide drinks for your guests, they won’t even notice the linens and chairs. Therefore, please don’t compromise the comfort of your guests.

Okay, I’m stepping down from my soapbox now.